What Online Poker Can Teach You about Self-Esteem

Guest Post by Lee Davy, May 12, 2014

Are you an online poker geek?

When I was younger the guys were divided into two distinct categories: those who were cool and those who were not. The latter were referred to as geeks.

The geeks would study hard and get good grades. They didn’t like raising their hands in class, but when the teacher pointed them out they always had the answers.

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The cool kids didn’t have a clue.  Tweet this!

The cool kids were always good at sport. When the team captains chose their respective football teams, the cool kids were always picked first.

The geeks always had their back glued to the gym wall.

The cool kids always got the girl; the geek just held her tightly in his dreams.

This is what I love about online poker.

It’s such a great leveler when it comes to the battleground between the geeks and those who believe they are cool.

I don’t care if you call it a sport, or a game, it’s a form of competition; and unless you were playing Scrabble or Chess it wasn’t very likely that the cool kid would end up with the egg on his face. No it was always the geek who would get scrambled.

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Strength in competition does something to a man. He thrives on it. He needs it. A man’s platelets are constantly wearing the boxing gloves and there is never a white towel anywhere to be seen…just blood…plenty of blood.

Winning can create self-esteem where there used to be nothing but tumbleweed. When the geeks get good at online poker they become the online poker geeks. Each victory brings with it a sense of pride and accomplishment. A fire has started in the belly of the beast. The glasses start to tremble on the tip of the nose.

Online poker can be the conduit to life outside of the bedroom door. It allows you to understand who you really are. You can’t buy self-esteem. It is learned and earned and online poker can help you rack it up quicker than your time clock goes….BEEP!  Tweet this!


Your whole life has been a charade of meaningless words. Your parents, teachers and those close few friends pouring praise onto your tender head. Words don’t create pride. That’s why you never felt it. Action creates pride. Every flop, turn and river bet that you slam into the face of your opponent. That’s pride. It stings, and it’s your opponents who are facing the wasp.

The online poker nerds were once players lacking confidence. No strike that. They were people lacking confidence of anything. Now they are winners eating nothing but chicken dinners.

a standard self steem store - vital for online poker


There’s no time to be smug and to crow about your achievements. It’s not about feeling superior to anyone else. That’s not self-esteem. It has nothing to do with anyone else. It comes from within that fire in your belly, and it rises up like the Phoenix and burns people through your twists and your turns.

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Shy poker players can be great players. You don’t have to have the gift of the gab to win in this game. You can keep your mouth shut and let your fingers and mind do the work.

If it wasn’t for online poker who would you be?

Would you still be struggling to fit into a society that says there is no room at the inn?

Now you are a fully-fledged member of the poker circus. You walk the tightrope, poke fun at the clowns and stick your head in the lion’s mouth on a daily basis.

As you grow into your new role your self-esteem grows too. With it becomes the urge to take more positive risks. You know you might fail - hell, you have felt the pain often enough - but now you also know you can succeed.

The momentum builds.

You are more likely to resist peer pressure, you are not going to just FIT IN, you love you for who you are, you are stronger now and are more capable of dealing with the challenges of life like a check-raise on the river.

You are resilient. You have bounced back from more bad beats than an undisciplined child. There are no disappointments or failures. The game never ends. You are in it for the long haul not the short term.

You feel free. You feel confident to express your creativity and show the world what you are capable of.



There is a smile on your face that seems stuck. It makes you look like the joker but this is no joke. There is no silly red make up smeared over your face.

You want the world to see who you are because you love what you see.

You are amazing.

You are the online poker geek.  Tweet this!

a poker geek is a lion on the table


Lee Davy

Lee Davy is a professional life coach who helps people with their addictions at In his spare time he is a writer and poker enthusiast.



Further Reading:  

Titan Poker Benefits
Get Amazing Benefits by Signing Up

Poker and the Bible

texas hold'em

Texas Hold'em Poker Guide

poker better than sex

Why Poker Is Better than Sex


Previous articles by Lee Davy:

This Kid Called Lonely

The Real Life Ups and Downs of a Professional Poker Player


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